dan is the man in the van

“you are such a flake” she said with a devilish grin. “i’m only five minutes late, if i was flaking i wouldn’t even be here” i countered. we’d been playing this constant cat and mouse game for weeks, with constant last minute cancellations, project meetings and client calls, now, at last we were finally seated at a table about to break bread.

with weeks of careful planning on our part at stake we thought it would be best to hand over all of our communication devices to the maitre’d with strict instructions not to return them to us unless they spontaneously combusted, turned into snakes and started attacking the staff or some other equally implausible eventuality. we had been introduced by mutual friends almost a year ago to the day. according to them we were both smart, funny driven people who would either hit it off beautifully, fall in love and make beautiful children and make everyone else envious of our seemingly perfect lives or we would hate the other’s guts and our friends would have nothing to more to be envious because our ‘perfect’ lives would be devoid of love and they could hold it over our heads.

funnily our friends both used the same word to describe us – rake. as in (s)he is quite the rake, but i love her/him so. we had both broken our share of hearts along the way, but not in a vicious take no prisoners way that precludes the possibility of friendship, in fact the aforementioned friends were multiple exes who based on the same social and professional circles managed to find new interpersonal connections. and now hopefully it was going to be our turn.

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Tags: fff, friday flash fiction, writing exercise

all is full of flash fiction fridays

it was the smell of cinnamon that woke me that morning. usually i’m out of bed first but on this particular morning i’d managed to sleep through not only her getting out of bed, but the usual noises of breakfast preparation. this was highly unusual, the other thing that was equally unusual was i dressed. i very rarely sleep in clothes, much less be so exhausted that i would wake up fully dressed under the covers.

the height of the bed and the cold tile floor added to my bewilderment. i hadn’t been drinking but i suddenly had the worst case of rum belly. i opened the first door i saw and prayed it was a bathroom. thankfully my prayers were answered.

as i planted my bum on the throne, i tried to figure where i was and how i ended up there. the bathroom looked fairly generic, right down to the dumb his and hers towels on the rack and the cutely shaped hand soaps that were a staple for guest rooms. they could never get that right, there would always be that odd edge from the mold that would take months of constant washing to go away but never happened because they always changed it after every guest.

i stood and washed my hands and face, rubbing my thumb absentmidnedly on the rough edge of the soap looking at my reflection. i looked like a bum, actually i looked like i felt – like i’d been ridden hard and put up wet. i was in a rumpled  tshirt with a r. crumb illustration and faded blue jeans, i sniffed my shirt and caught the pungent odour of smoke and hard drinking and wondered for the millionth time, what i’d been up to the night before.

as i stood there lost in my own thoughts, the scent that woke me snapped me from my reverie, time to face the piper whoever it might be. i exited the bathroom through the bedroom and onto a small carpeted landing. did i navigate stairs in my state last night? curiouser and curiouser. i made my gingerly down the stairs following my nose to the kitchen.

have you ever imagined what you’d look like as a member of the opposite sex? i didn’t have to, there i was, standing in the kitchen. i looked up or my doppleganger looked up and smiled at me. my freakishly large hands reached out towards the towels, wiped them and gestured for me to take a seat. with my heart racing i sat at the table and wondered yet again, what the hell was going on.

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Tags: fff, flash fiction fridays

riddle me this

Five Questions

These questions were sent to me by cajunscorpiogirl and originally came from White Apples by Jonathan Carroll. She liked them so much, they made it into her quote book.

Feel free to fill in your own answers.

What three meals from your past would you like to eat again?

1) Growing up I couldn’t eat on the plane and every trip back from Jamaica my grandmother would make rice and peas and curry goat. That amazing smell would waft through the plane, I can still smell it now.

2) Vic and I sitting on a bed in a hotel in Knoxville feeding each other.

3) My birthday dinner three years ago at the Mirror, surrounded by family and friends.

What two objects would you like to possess again?

1)  One of two books: Last Chance to See – Douglas Adams or The Meaning of Liff – Douglas Adams

2) My original wedding band, not necessarily for sentiment, but it was a well crafted piece of jewellery that i actually liked..

What is the one act in your life you wish you could take back or erase?
I think I am who I am now because of all of my experiences, good and bad.

What one person would you like to see again?
Douglas Adams, seems to be a theme. I had an opportunity to talk to him and wasted it on idle chit chat.

What one experience do you wish you could repeat?
Living in London

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Tags: meme, personality, white apples

in which i lose my street cred

my commentary on Wired’s GeekDad 100 Essential Skills for Geeks

1. Properly secure a wireless router. yep.
2. Crack the WEP key on a wireless router. if you have the skill and don’t use it, does it count?
3. Leech Wifi from your neighbour. been there done that.
4. Screw with Wifi leeches. haven’t had much of a chance to do that of late
5. Setup and use a VPN. and i can teach people how it works too.
6. Work from home or a coffee shop as effectively as you do at the office. anywhere i got a computer and network connection.
7. Wire your own home with Ethernet cable. uh huh. including using wds to hardwire a machine without wifi, instead of running excessive amounts of cable.
8. Turn a web camera into security camera. creepy but yes.
9. Use your 3G phone as a Wi-Fi access point. no 3G phone, but just recently i did it with two laptops
10. Understand what “There’s no Place Like 127.0.0.1” means. yes.
11. Identify key-loggers. yep.
12. Properly connect a TV, Tivo, XBox, Wii, and Apple TV so they all work together with the one remote. haven’t done it with those particular items but used my visor edge as the remote for my tv & vcr
13. Program a universal remote. in my sleep.
14. Swap out the battery on your iPod/iPhone. have the tool to get the ipod open in my drawer.
15. Benchmark Your Computer. yes.
16. Identify all computer components on sight. yes.
17. Know which parts to order from NewEgg.com, and how to assemble them into a working PC. and yes, but why would i?
18. Troubleshoot any computer/gadget problem, over the phone. to the point where i find myself doing it far too often.
19. Use any piece of technology intuitively, without instruction or prior knowledge. scarily so.
20. How to irrecoverably protect data. is that even possible? but i have backups of my backups offsite
21. Recover data from a dead hard drive. too many times for it to even been considered fun.
22. Share a printer between a Mac and a PC on a network. is this really a skill?
23. Install a Linux distribution. (Hint: Ubuntu 9.04 is easier than installing Windows) in a virtual windows client no less.
24. Remove a virus from a computer. not since the 90s
25. Dual (or more) boot a computer. again, is this a skill?
26. Boot a computer off a thumb drive. this shouldn’t count as a skill
27. Boot a computer off a network drive. neither should this.
28. Replace or repair a laptop keyboard. with ease.
29. Run more than two monitors on a single computer. is there any other way?
30. Successfully disassemble and reassemble a laptop. yes.
31. Know at least 10 software easter eggs off the top of your head. yep.
32. Bypass a computer password on all major operating systems. Windows, Mac, Linux no comment.
33. Carrying a computer cleaning arsenal on your USB drive. yes.
34. Bypass content filters on public computers. no comment.
35. Protect your privacy when using a public computer. not a real skill.
36. Surf the web anonymously from home. neither is this
37. Buy a domain, configure bind, apache, MySQL, php, and WordPress without Googling a how-to. i should hope so
38. Basic *nix command shell knowledge with the ability to edit and save a file with vi. self taught too, but i did learn basic as a child.
39. Create a web site using vi. not that hardcore.
40. Transcode a DVD to play on a portable device. isn’t that illegal?
41. Hide a file in an image using steganography. i can but have never had cause to.
42. Knowing the answer to life, the universe and everything. what is six by nine (base 13)?
43. Share a single keyboard and mouse between multiple computers without a KVM switch. only if you count target mode.
44. Google obscure facts in under 3 searches. Bonus point if you can use I Feel Lucky. here, LMGTFY.
45. Build amazing structures with LEGO and invent a compelling back story for the creation. i can but i defer to my son, the master.
46. Understand that it is LEGO, not Lego, Legos, or Lego’s. since 1977
47. Build a two story house out of LEGO, in monochrome, with a balcony. again, possible but i defer to those greater than myself.
48. Construct a costume for you or your kid out of scraps, duct tape, paper mâché, and imagination. there are advantages to being broke sometimes.
49. Be able to pick a lock. i plead the 5th.
50. Determine the combination of a Master combination padlock in under 10 minutes. nope.
51. Assemble IKEA furniture without looking at the instructions. Bonus point if you don’t have to backtrack. i have, but it’s so much fun to use the instructions and a sheet pan to organise all your parts in their piles as you’ll require them.
52. Use a digital SLR in full manual mode. i was using SLRs before they were digital.
53. Do cool things to Altoids tins. yep.
54. Be able to construct paper craft versions of space ships. not a skill i possess.
55. Origami! Bonus point for duct tape origami. (Ductigami) nope.
56. Fix anything with duct tape, chewing gum and wire. not everything can be fixed like that, but for the things that can i have tried.
57. Knowing how to avoid being eaten by a grue. yes.
58. Know what a grue is. hell yes.
59. Understand where XYZZY came from, and have used it. yes.
60. Play any SNES game on your computer through an emulator. yes.
61. Burn the rope. what?
62. Know the Konami code, and where to use it. yep.
63. Whistle, hum, or play on an iPhone, the Cantina song. han shot first.
64. Learning to play the theme songs to the kids favorite TV shows. i can’t play any musical instrument.
65. Solve a Rubik’s Cube. solved it in two weeks, aged 10
66. Calculate THAC0. what?
67. Know the difference between skills and traits. never got into D&D
68. Explain special relativity in terms an eight-year-old can grasp. no & i don’t think everything needs to be dumbed down for kids.
69. Recite pi to 10 places or more. 3.1415926536
70. Be able to calculate tip and split the check, all in your head. and calculate approximate tax too.
71. Explain that the colours in a rainbow are roygbiv. if i didn’t i shouldn’t have a job.
72. Understand the electromagnetic spectrum – xray, uv, visible, infrared, microwave, radio. yep.
73. Know the difference between radiation and radioactive contamination. may save my life one day.
74. Understand basic electronics components like resistors, capacitors, inductors and transistors. yes.
75. Solder a circuit while bottle feeding an infant. (lead free solder please.) never attempted it.
76. The meaning of technical acronyms. does FUBAR count too?
77. The coffee dash, blindfolded (or blurry eyed). Coffee <brew> [cream] [sugar]. In under a minute. don’t drink coffee anymore and when i did, it was a one step process.
78. Build a fighting robot. no.
79. Program a fighting robot. no.
80. Build a failsafe into a fighting robot so it doesn’t kill you. no, but shouldn’t 79 include the three laws?
81. Be able to trace the Fellowship’s journey on a map of Middle Earth. oh the shame.
82. Know all the names of the Dwarves in The Hobbit. no.
83. Understand the difference between a comic book and a graphic novel. and if you don’t shame on you.
84. Know where your towel is and why it is important. i’m a cool frood.
85. Re-enact the parrot sketch. and i’ve passed the skill along.
86. Know the words to The Lumberjack Song. that one too.
87. Reciting key scenes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. without which life would be a total bore.
88. Be able to recite at least one Geek Movie word for word. i can and i’m proud.
89. Know what the 8th Chevron does on a Stargate and how much power is required to get a lock. sadly yes.
90. Be able to explain why it’s important that Han shot first. if i have to explain it to you…
91. Know why it is just wrong for Luke and Leia to kiss. in that case the original poster was just wrong.
92. Stop talking Star Wars long enough to get laid. hey they’re female star wars fans, i married one.
93. The ability to name actors, characters and plotlines from the majority of sci-fi movies produced since 1968. only the ones that count.
94. Cite Mythbusters when debunking a myth or urban legend. yes.
95. Sleep with a Cricket bat next to your bed. i don’t, but i know why i should.
96. Have a documented plan on what to do during a zombie or robot uprising. yes.
97. Identify evil alternate universe versions of friends, family, co-workers or self. yes.
98. Be able to convince TSA that the electronic parts you are carrying are really not a threat to passengers. no comment.
99. Talk about things that aren’t tech related. there are things other than tech? kidding. mostly.
100. Get something on the front page of Digg. don’t really understand the fascination. there are much better aggregators.

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Tags: geek, geekdad, nerd, wired

And this little light of mine, a gift you passed on to me

THREE NAMES I GO BY
keifel
k
pig

THREE JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE
bag boy
printer’s apprentice
internet support tech

THREE PLACES I HAVE LIVED
london
naples, fl
woodbrook

THREE TV SHOWS THAT I WATCH
dollhouse
top gear
leverage

THREE PLACES I HAVE BEEN
dortmund, germany
Macinack Island, MI
kingston, jamaica

THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO
japan
australia
south africa

THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS
spicy duck
roti
ribs

THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO
going to trinidad
the weekend
seeing the girls

THREE PETS THAT YOU HAVE OWNED
cleopatra: a calico minx that we had growing up
jiffy: an orange tabby i got my mother
orion: our current orange tabby

THREE FRIENDS WHO WILL REPLY
not sure based on this format

THREE FAVORITE BANDS/RECORDING ARTISTS
metallica
mos def
george carlin

THREE FAVORITE THINGS TO WATCH
movies
the cats
people

THREE FAVORITE DRINKS
water
coke (original sugar formula)
jack & coke

THREE THINGS YOU JUST DON’T GET
dirty hippies
deliberately ignorant people
recreational drug use

THREE JOBS YOU’D LIKE
house painter
sound engineer
travel writer
YES OR NO

The Rules
1. You can only answer yes or no
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and Asks!

Now, here’s what you’re supposed to do… And please do not spoil the Fun. Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers and type in your answers. Then see what happens.

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Tags: facebook, notes, threes, yes and no

100 Books (bbc -61) (fb – 62)

Apparently the BBC reckons most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. the top list is the original bbc list, the list below is the one that’s circulating on facebook.

Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an ‘x’ after those you have read.
2) Add a ‘+’ to the ones you LOVE.
3) Star (*) those you plan on reading.
4) Tally your total at the bottom.

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien [X]+
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen [X]
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman [X]+
4. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams [X]+
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling [X]+
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee [X]+
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne [X]
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell [X]+
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis [X]+
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë [X]
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller [X]+
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë [X]
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier x
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger [X]
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame [X]
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens [X]
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott [X]
19. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy [X]
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone, JK Rowling [X]
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling [X]+
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling [X]+
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien [X]+
26. Tess Of The D’Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck [X]
30. Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll [X]+
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez [X]+
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl [X]+
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson [X]
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
39. Dune, Frank Herbert [X]+
40. Emma, Jane Austen [X]
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams [X]
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald [X]+
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas [X]
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell [X]+
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens [X]
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett [X]
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck [X]
53. The Stand, Stephen King [X]
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth [X]
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl [X]
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell [X]
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer [X]
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden [X]
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens [X]
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough [X]
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett [X]+
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton [X]+
67. The Magus, John Fowles *
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman [X]+
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett [X]+
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding [X]
71. Perfume, Patrick Süskind *
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett [X]+
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl [X]+
75. Bridget Jones’s Diary, Helen Fielding [X]
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins *
78. Ulysses, James Joyce *
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl [X]
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake *
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy [X]
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley [X]
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo [X]
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel [X]
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett [X]+
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer [X]
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez [X]+
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot [X]
100. Midnight’s Children, Salman Rushdie [X]+

1 Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen [X]
2 The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien [X] +
3 Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte [X]
4 Harry Potter series – JK Rowling [X] +
5 To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee [X] +
6 The Bible- [X]
7 Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte [X]
8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell [X] +
9 His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman [X] +
10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens[X]
11 Little Women – Louisa M Alcott [X]
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 – Joseph Heller [X]
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien [X]
17 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger [X]
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch – George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald [X]
23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy [X]
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy [X] +
26 Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck [X]
29 Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll [X]
30 The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame [X]
31 Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy [X]
32 David Copperfield – Charles Dickens [X]
33 Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis [X]
34 Emma – Jane Austen [X]
35 Persuasion – Jane Austen [X]
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis [X]
37 The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini *
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden [X]
40 Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne  [X]
41 Animal Farm – George Orwell  [X] +
42 The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown [X]
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez [X] +
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving
45 The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy *
48 The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood [X]
49 Lord of the Flies – William Golding [X]
50 Atonement – Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi – Yann Martel *
52 Dune – Frank Herbert [X] +
53 Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen [X]
55 A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth [X]
56 The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens [X]
58 Brave New World – Aldous Huxley [X]
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez [X]
61 Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck [X]
62 Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov  [X]
63 The Secret History – Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas [X]
66 On The Road – Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding [X]
69 Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie [X]
70 Moby Dick – Herman Melville [X]
71 Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens  [X]
72 Dracula – Bram Stoker [X]
73 The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett [X]
74 Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses – James Joyce *
76 The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal – Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray  *
80 Possession – AS Byatt [X]
81 A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens  [X]
82 Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple – Alice Walker [X]
84 The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert [X]
86 A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web – EB White [X]
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle [X]
90 The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton [X]
91 Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad *
92 The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery [X]
93 The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
94 Watership Down – Richard Adams [X]
95 A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole *
96 A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas [X] +
98 Hamlet – William Shakespeare [X]
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl [X]
100 Les Miserables – Victor Hugo [X]

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Tags: 100 books, BBC, books, classics, facebook, reading

all filler, no thriller

25 Random Things
So the “rules” are that if you’ve been tagged with this note you are supposed to repeat the exercise with 25 random any things about you.

1. i share my birthday with my paternal grandmother and father
2. astrologically it makes me leo on the cusp of virgo
3. i’m really good with computers and electronics
4. i hate seeing clocks blinking 12:00
5. i don’t dance
6. i enjoy doing taxes
7. i find house painting relaxing
8. i’m the sort of friend that would help you bury the body
9. i’ve had two surgeries in my life
10. i’ve never broken any bones
11. i’ve driven on the autobahn
12. i can read a bit of german
13. i’ve seen metallica live
14. i’ve seen tool live
15. i’ve seen weird al live
16. i’ve seen burning spear live
17. i interned in a gallery space in ny for six weeks
18. i have an incredibly high tolerance for alcohol
19. i don’t get hangovers
20. i don’t do recreational drugs
21. when i get drunk i go to sleep
22. i’ve never been on a cruise
23. i took my first flight at 2 months
24. the furthest west i’ve driven in the US is Iowa
25. i love to drive.

USING ONLY ONE WORD! It’s not as easy as you might think! Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It’s really hard to only use one word answers. Be sure to tag the person you received it from!

1. Where is your cell phone? desk
2. Your significant other? victoria
3. Your hair? dreads
4. Your mother? sigh
5. Your father? missing
6. Your favorite song? panic
7. Your dream last night? unremembered
8. Your favorite drink? water
9. Your dream/goal? living
10. What room you are in? cube
11. Your hobby? reading
12. Your fear? loneliness
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? comforatble
14. Where were you last night? store
15. Something that you aren’t? rich
16. Muffins? blueberry
17. Wish list item? books
18. Where you grew up? trinidad
19. Last thing you did? type
20. What are you wearing? clothes
21. Your TV? home
22. Your pets? cat
23. Friends? fantastic
24. Your life? blessed
25. Your mood? amused
26. Missing someone? always
27. Car? mazda
28. Something you’re not wearing? watch
29. Your favorite store? apple
30. Your favorite color? grey
33. When is the last time you laughed? morning
34. Last time you cried? months
35. Who will resend this? many
36. Favorite vacation? london
37. One person who emails me regularly? sam
38. My favorite place to eat? thai

Scattergories
Rules: Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag 10 people. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real; nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can’t use your name for the boy/girl name question. Not always as easy as it looks. Have Fun!!”

1. What is your name: keifel
2. A four Letter Word: kiss
3. A boy’s Name: kevin
4. A girl’s Name: kendra
5. An occupation: killer
6. A color: kiwi
7. Something you wear: kilt
8. A food: kielbasa
9. Something found in the bathroom: kotex
10. A place: kingston
11. A reason for being late: knotted kites
12. Something you shout: know nothing!
13. A movie title: Kill Bill
14. Something you drink: Kool-Aid
15. A musical group: kraftwerk
16. An animal: koala

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Tags: 25 random things, facebook, one word, questions, scattergories

a dull lifeless husk (160)

SUPPOSEDLY if you’ve seen over 85 of these films, you have no life. Mark the ones you’ve seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, then, put x’s next to the films you’ve seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and share at will. Have fun.

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest
(x) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane

(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Anchorman
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
(x) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

(x) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
(x) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch

(x) Finding Nemo
( x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
() The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
() White Chicks
() Butterfly Effect
() 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
() Robots

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x ) Meet The Parents
(x ) Meet the Fockers
(x) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG

(x) A Cinderella Story
() The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
() Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child’s Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
(x) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
() Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask

(x) Bad Boys
(x) Bad Boys 2
(x) Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean’s Eleven
(x) Ocean’s Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George

(x) Independence Day
(x ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
() War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She’s All That
(x) Calendar Girls
() Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x ) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
(x) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2

( ) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
(x) Krippendorf’s Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old Virgin

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

(x) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
(x ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
( ) Elf
(x) Highlander
(x) Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History X
( ) Three

( ) The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
(x) Shaolin Soccer
(x) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
( ) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
( ) Hook
() Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
(x) Orgazmo
() Phantasm
(x) Waterworld

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() the Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
(x) Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
(x) Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal

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Tags: movies

the soundtrack of my life

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunesWindows Media PlayerWinamp, whatever you use…)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie

Opening Credits:
Curve of the Earth – Matt Nathanson

Waking up:
Rise Above It – Afro Celt Sound System

First Day at High school:
Mojo Jojo in Bubbles Body – Powerpuff Girls
Falling In Love:
Conspiracy of the Heart – Steve Wynn

Fight Song:
Bitch, Where’s my Bacon

Breaking Up:
Blue Lines – Massive Attack

Prom:
Burn – John Wesley Harding

Life:
Blue Moon – The Marcels

Mental Breakdown:
What’s your Fantasy (Remix) – Ludacris

Driving:
5/4 – Gorillaz

Flashback:
Smile – Lyle  Lovett

Back Together:
Schism – Tool

Wedding:
Diabolical Scheme – The Hives
Birth of Child:
A Hard Day’s Night – Otis Redding

Final Battle:
Shatner – Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

Death Scene:
There’ll come a time – John Butler Trio

Funeral Song:
Like a Pen – The Knife

End Credits:
Leave it Like it Is – David Wilcox

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Tags: songs, soundtrack

if you only had one word

got this from the wyf

1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Your significant other? driving
3. Your hair? long
4. Your mother? strange
5. Your father? unknow
6. Your favorite thing? (as in a tangible, touchable thing?) food
7. Your dream last night? unremembered
8. Your favorite drink? water
9. Your dream/goal? leisure
10. The room you’re in? cube
11. Your fear? failure
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? europe
13. Where were you last night? store
14. What you’re not? idealistic
15. Muffins? maybe
16. One of your wish list items? computer
17. Where you grew up? trinidad
18. The last thing you did? dinner
19. What are you wearing? clothes
20. Your favorite TV show? (shouldn’t it be favorite one word TV titled tv show?) angel
21. Your pet? orion
23. Your life? spectacular
24. Your mood? excited
25. Missing someone? always
26. Your car/truck? blue
27. Something you’re not wearing? piercing
28. Favorite Store? apple
29. Your summer? casual
30. Your favorite color? grey
31. When is the last time you laughed? recently
32. Last time you cried? months

THREE PLACES I GO OVER AND OVER: work, work and kingston
THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS: ribs, duck, doubles
PLACE I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW: london

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Tags: one word